7th December 2011	I'm speaking at the Birmingham Humanists. Or perhaps 'to' them. Or 'with' them. No, no - it'll definitely be 'at' them. I'm speaking at the poor, flinching faces of the Birmingham Humanists: 7.30pm-10.00pm, Moseley Exchange, 149 Alcester Road, Birmingham B13 8JP.
30th May 2012	7.30pm-8.30pm Me, talking, and doing research using the listerners, at Halesowen Library. Queensway Mall. 01384 812982
31th May 2012	7.00pm-8.15pm As above, but in a different room. Wednesbury Library, Walsall Street, Wednesbury, WS10 9EH 0121 556 0351
12th September 2012	7.00pm. Birmingham Skeptics in the Pub. Reading a short story. Asking five questions. Then lots of interesting stuff, by other people, after I've done this. Yes, it is in Birmingham, but you can't have everything, right?

America.
Just to short circuit all the emails I keep getting asking when I'll be visiting America, let me assure you of the situation here: I will never be visiting America. This isn't remotely because I hate Americans, nor because I wouldn't enjoy visiting the country (I'm sure it'd be interesting to do all the things that English tourists do when they're over there - see the sights, buy some souvenirs, get shot), it's just simple common sense. Publishers only send you to places if they believe that the related publicity will sell enough books to cover their paying for you to go. It makes sense, for example, for my UK publisher to buy my train ticket to London so I can do a TV spot or the Swedish one to bring me over to give lots of press interviews and play the role of 'Man who looks on, shocked yet aroused' in a porn film being made by the state broadcasting network. It makes no sense at all for my US publisher to ship me over to America, where no one in the media would want anything to do with me, just so I can chat with some of you - people who probably have the books already. Sorry, but that's the heartless reality of it, and I can't imagine any possibility of it changing in the future. I'll think of you all whenever WWE comes on the TV, though - promise.

 

Also, in fact, Australia

Lucy at Hodder did mention to me the other day that I'd been invited out to Australia - to Perth, I think. She told whoever was doing the inviting that I wouldn't be going, though. And she was right. Again, I'd love to visit but, as I don't fly, the journey out to Australia would actually take longer than I'm currently expected to live.